Alice in Chains drummer Sean Kinney / Amy Winehouse

Here are some of the weirdest web stories of the week:

Neil Diamond covers Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song" on his upcoming Christmas album. Let's pray "Lunchlady Land" is the B-side. [Spinner]

Amy Winehouse breaks from spitting on the paparazzi to spit rhymes on a rap song. So… apparently she's not sober. [Gawker]

Tracey Morgan, a.k.a. rapper Scoppy Giles, devotes a song to ladies' "dumplin' butts" in a new VH1 promo. Sir-Mix-A-Lot should demand royalties. [therapup]

A bandaged 50 Cent warns of the damage that listening to a Fat Joe album can inflict. Clearly no one has heard Fiddy's song "Candy Shop." [thisis50]

Attention hipsters: your prayers have been answered with Indie Rock Band! Who needs Stone Temple Pilots when you can have Broken Social Scene? [Houston Press]

The first Alice in Chains album in 12 years was leaked two weeks before its release. How does drummer Sean Kinney feel? Like he was raped in prison! [Gigwise]

Depeche Mode's video for "Hole to Feed" features random people licking each other's faces. Mmm… sanitary! [YouTube]