Travis McCoy and Paul F. Tompkins / Photo by Brian Finke

As the host of VH1's Best Week Ever, dapper comedian Paul F. Tompkins makes a living siccing his snark on cultural ephemera. Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy does much the same via his witty rhymes on songs like "Drnk Txt Rmeo" and "Cookie Jar," both from 2008's The Quilt. Unsurprisingly, when the talking head and the rapping mouth came together to pass judgment on a pupu platter of the year's most noteworthy tunes, neither one held back. Well, maybe with one notable exception...

Check out these nine songs, then check out Travis and Paul breaking down 10 more in the January 2009 issue of SPIN, on newsstands now!

VAMPIRE WEEKEND, "OXFORD COMMA"
Blog-fueled smarty-pants phenoms declare their disregard for punctuation particulars atop a spare, breezy groove.

McCOY: This song is really pussy, for lack of a better word. I don't understand the buzz about this band. I just remember going to the bodega and all of sudden seeing them on the cover of every magazine.
SPIN: Including this one.
McCOY: I know. I was like, "What the fuck?"
TOMPKINS: When I saw these guys, I was mostly worried they were freezing cold because they were wearing those gigantic sweaters.
McCOY: All the hype about Vampire Weekend reminded me of Snakes on a Plane.
TOMPKINS: I've always felt that Vampire Weekend are the Snakes on a Plane of music. They're harmless, though. Innocuous. I call it innocu-rock.
McCOY: Innocu-rock! That's it!
TOMPKINS: Do you get freaked out by Belle and Sebastian? Vampire Weekend is for you.

LIL WAYNE, "GOT MONEY"
Weezy shares his know-how vis-à-vis getting, spending, and retaining a large amount of currency.

McCOY: I'm a huge fan of Wayne, but this Auto-Tune thing is completely out of control.
TOMPKINS: I'm officially mad about it.
McCOY: [Zapp's] Roger Troutman is rolling in his grave! Back in the day, when you were using a vocoder and talkbox, you had to at least be playing something.
TOMPKINS: That was what Peter Frampton used on his guitar, right?
McCOY: Yeah. With those things, you had to manipulate the note with a guitar or keyboard. Now you just push a button. It's like, "I wanna sound like a robot," and you hit the button and that's it.
TOMPKINS: I'm not ashamed to say that I've used Auto-Tune before. Sometimes I want to sound like a robot when I tell jokes. I won't deny it.
McCOY: That's my beef with all of this. You used to actually have to be able to sing. Now it's just so easy. You just press a button.
TOMPKINS: In the good old days you at least had to turn a dial. Turning dials is a lost art.

KATY PERRY, "I KISSED A GIRL"
A curious ingenue discovers the chart-busting pleasure of Sapphic smooching.

McCOY: Uh, okay. I'm not talking bad about this one.
TOMPKINS: [Laughs] Not this one?
McCOY: This is my girlfriend.
TOMPKINS: [Laughs]
SPIN: Travis isn't joking.
TOMPKINS: Oh, okay.
McCOY: This song fucking rocks! This is cutting-edge right here! And I'm not just sucking my girlfriend's dick.
TOMPKINS: You know who I feel bad for? Jill Sobule.
McCOY: Definitely. I told Katy there was already a song called "I Kissed a Girl," and she was like, "Nobody remembers that shit." But what's good about this song is that it's now cool for young girls across America to kiss each other.
TOMPKINS: Katy Perry is the Rosa Parks of getting girls to make out with each other.
McCOY: We need to skip songs now.

Click to page 2 for takes on Guns N' Roses, the Killers, Metallica!
Click to page 3 for takes on Britney, Death Cab, and the Jonas Brothers!