1) Justin Timberlake and Dwayne Johnson joke about general stores and a band called the Beatles Fighters on music's biggest night, hear crickets. Where's Bruce Vilanch when we need him?

2) The night's best rock performer? Carrie Underwood, take a bow. And your guitarist Orianthi Panagar can take two.

1) BEST SELF-EFFACING ACCEPTANCE SPEECH BY A GROUP OR DUO
Coldplay, for Chris Martin's "limestone" joke. Dude, we're supposed to be making comments like that about you. If you're gonna poke fun at your band, then what's left for wiseass peanut gallerists to say? Well played.

Aside from the Orwellian Reaganscape darkening the horizon, 1984 was a personal watershed for me -- a parent actually showed an interest in music that I listened to (well, sort of).

Sunday night, while you're watching all the one-of-a-kind Grammy Awards performances and belting a shot of tequila every time Lil Wayne's name is mentioned, take a minute to remember the 100 or so other Grammy winners who aren't considered important enough to appear on the Big Show (CBS, 8 p.m.).

The 51st annual Grammy Awards feature an amazing roster of performers, including U2, Radiohead, Coldplay, Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, Paul McCartney, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown, Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers, and many more. (Watch the show Sunday, Feb. 8, at 8 p.m. on CBS.) And, it turns out, the Recording Academy is also giving out a few shiny awards.

A few signs that the end of the world is near:

One: Rampant greed has brought a great nation to its knees.

Two: A recipe calling for "two pounds bacon, two pounds sausage" has inflamed America's kitchens.

The Super Bowl Halftime Show is a tough gig. It’s fundamentally a fifteen-minute sideshow, as performers try to draw the attention of people who've spilled dip on their shirts and are waiting for the game to get going again.

Whew! (Deep breath) OK, here we go. Below are a random sampling of first reactions and inquiries regarding Lil Wayne's just-leaked "rock" single "Prom Queen," on which Weezy dialogues about lacey underwear and broken hearts through an Auto-Tune device and apparently brushes the strings of a guitar. An historic moment, indeed.

You can always count on the Academy Awards voters to blow it. But the Academy's failure to nominate Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler" for Best Original Song makes me wonder if the nods are decided by throwing darts at a board labeled "next best things."