I’m like Bob Dylan: I don’t look back. I refuse to consider anything that happened in 2003, because those days are over. Oh, I realize that there were fragments of noteworthy events over the past 12 months (tigers attacking magicians, tigers living in Harlem apartments, the war, etc.), but as far as I’m concerned, anything that occurred yesterday might as well have taken place when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Those who ignore history are not doomed to repeat it; those who ignore history are destined to dominate the future with extreme prejudice (almost as if they are cyborgs sent from the future, programmed to become governor of California and possibly to kill the star of TV’s Beauty and the Beast). Tomorrow never knows, but I have a few suspicions. Here is everything important that will happen in 2004. This should save us all some time....

By: Chuck Klosterman

I’m the greatest songwriter of my generation. Granted, most of my material falls outside the conventional parameters of mainstream FM radio fare -- I like to fuse my country-tinged reggae with progressive Tejano metal -- but the songs themselves are flawless nuggets of pure pop perfection. I like to drag the listener through a mystical portal, deep into a subterranean consciousness that he or she never knew existed. I like to make audiences confront love and hate simultaneously. I like to bring the darkness with extreme prejudice.

By: Chuck Klosterman

Today we are going to learn about the Strokes. We are going to learn who the Strokes are—or at least who they are supposed to be. But this will not be easy: There will be holes. There will be misdirection. And it will be up to you to fill in the gaps.

Today we are going to learn about the Strokes. We are going to learn who the Strokes are—or at least who they are supposed to be. But this will not be easy: There will be holes. There will be misdirection. And it will be up to you to fill in the gaps.

By: Chuck Klosterman

Last week, I found myself in a debate about downloading music, a debate I seem to have more and more. But this conversation was different from the usual "Is this stealing, or is this not stealing?" argument. Our dialogue had nothing to do with the ethics or legality of getting free music off the Internet. What we were discussing was why people like downloading music so much and what it means for the future of rock'n'roll.